It wasn’t just Emerson sweating things last week. I was riding a ranking roller coaster. Moving from the tens of thousands to the hundreds of thousands over the course of two days on Amazon.
I had no concept of what was good or bad, but watching my ranking drop into the 300K arena sucked all the air out of my lungs. This had to be bad. Something that shouldn’t be happening.
So I reached out to my published buddies. I needed a benchmark. I needed affirmation of what was happening and then possibly consolation. They assured me that for a debut indie author I was doing pretty well. But it still stung. No one wants their book to be unpopular.
I wasn’t expecting to break into the top 1000 any time soon. I was kinda hoping for that slow build. So when my ranking plummeted, it hurt.
But then the the best surprise in the world arrived…
My first fan letter!
From my aunt in Arizona.
We hadn’t seen each other in years, but we reconnected on FB. And she devoured my book. Loved it.
So much that she took the time to hand write me a thank you note, where she actually thanked me for writing Six Train. Wow. I never expected to receive anything like that.
She also made me an adorable handmade writer doll that looked like me and gave me a lovely handkerchief.
I was so touched by the gifts and the card. By the time and care my aunt put into them just to let me know that my book mattered.
It made me realize rankings are interesting, but they don’t count how many hearts you’ve touched. And for me, knowing I moved one person with my words is the best feeling in the world.
It makes all the work, all the self doubt, all the uncertainty worth it.