Holiday Moments With Grandma H

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Journey back with me to Christmas Day. A day of Grandma H moments…

Grandma H and I sit side by side eating ham at dinner. It was a buffet-style dinner so everyone had to grab their own utensils.

She has a fork. I have a fork and knife and spoon.

Not for long…

She says, “Give me that knife.”

I say, “I need it.”

She says, “So do I.”

I hand her mine and ask my cousin, “Can you grab me a knife?” I’m seated against the wall trapped beside Grandma H and she doesn’t move when she’s eating.

I get my knife and commence slicing my ham. Grandma H looks over at me. “I’ll take that spoon too.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

I have nothing on my plate that requires a spoon. Plus it’s Grandma H so I hand it over.

We eat for a bit in silence. Then I look over. She’s slicing her ham with the knife but holding it in place with the spoon.

I ask, “Why are you using the spoon like that?”

“Because it’s easier to scoop up the juice.” She sounds mildly annoyed by my ignorance.

“But to hold the meat in place when cutting?” I ask.

“It’s how I like to do it.”

******

Later we are sitting in the living room. Grandma H decides to start a conversation by asking, “So Steve, do you have water in your basement?”

It’s the weirdest conversation starter ever. I giggle.

Steve however goes with whatever topic is thrown at him and launches into a story about his basement flooding in the past but no longer.

*******

Later, we sit around talking about an old family friend. Someone calls her to touch base. The phone gets passed around.

Unbeknownst to Grandma H, the call is ended.

The family then chats about the old family friend.

Grandma H looks to be stewing.

As the conversation gets louder, she shhhs everyone and says, “She’s still on the phone.”

My aunt says, “No she isn’t.”

Grandma H points to my cousin and insists, “He’s holding the phone talking to her.”

My cousin unfurls his hand which was beside his temple. “No, I was just resting my head on my hand.”

“Why would you do that?” Grandma H asks in a huff.

Everyone bursts out laughing.

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33 Responses to Holiday Moments With Grandma H

  1. Now you know why there’s a race to sit by the kitchen….you may have to get up during the meal to fetch…but you can get up during the meal to fetch.
    Great chuckles as always
    (sop up that juice with white bread like farm boys? I used to cringe when my dad did that…until he was old and old guys can do what they want!)

    • LOL. Yes indeed. ๐Ÿ™‚ Unfortunately Grandma H is like the Rock of Gibraltar and will not budge even to allow someone to get up and fetch stuff for her. ๐Ÿ˜› I had three people on my other side so I was stuck. Luckily, my cousin passed by and was able to procure an extra knife. LOL. Nope she spooned all the sauce and juice and drank it down like soup. It was quite a sight. I wasn’t sure if she was having an off day or just being her normally eccentric self. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Elliot says:

    Got to like the Grandma H. Thats what I like to do and thats it ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. klynwurth says:

    Grandma H is, as they used to say, “the bomb.” I will ever be her fan.

  4. jmmcdowell says:

    Ah, Grandma H! Such wonderful stories you have! Hmm, that construction smacks of my grandmother’s Serbian-influenced English. ๐Ÿ˜‰ It sounds like you had a great time. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • LOL. I had more but my stupid notes app on my phone deleted the notes. It was a day of Grandma H giggles. Sadly these were all I could recall. She definitely kicks everything up a few notches. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Carrie Rubin says:

    Remind me to bring some extra utensils if I ever share a meal with Grandma H. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    As my boys would say, that Grandma H is “pretty chill.” Which is a good thing!

    • Indeed. The funny thing is if you try to help her, she snaps at you. So there’s really no way around it. You just hand over what she wants. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Aw thanks! She cracks me up. She’s always teaching me new stuff, like demand what you want, you’ll probably get it. ๐Ÿ˜›

  6. Cat Forsley says:

    I fInally get here – been waiting to alllllllll day ๐Ÿ™‚ Grandma needs a show ๐Ÿ™‚
    seriously – That woman is a gem ๐Ÿ™‚ Pure candour – !!!!!!!!!!!!~!!!!!!! they’re aren’t that many people that JUST say it anymore xxxxxx Seriously – You are a lucky granddaughter ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ she is amazing ๐Ÿ™‚ !!!!!!!!!!!!
    LOVE XX
    C

  7. EllaDee says:

    Grandma H. is just too good, as are you for not keeping her all to yourself. I could be there from your telling of it… ๐Ÿ™‚

    • LOL. She is quite an experience. Really livens up any event. I wish I could rent her out for parties or at least bottle some of her moxie! Aw thanks. I try to capture the essence of the moment. I take notes on the dialogue to replicate it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. jamieayres says:

    Ah, I can’t wait until I’m ‘mature’ and everyone has to listen to me;-)

  9. Laura says:

    Oh to be a fly on the wall with your grandma around! She’s one of those people that you just wish you could be her for a day just to see what it’s like ๐Ÿ˜€

  10. 4amWriter says:

    Great times with Grandma H again. Her drinking the ham juice reminds me of my grandfather drinking the bowl of milk after he finished his cereal. I couldn’t understand why he’d drink it instead of just pouring more cereal to help finish up the milk. To each his own, I suppose.

    • LOL. I guess I was lucky she used a spoon and didn’t tip the plate to her lips. Course that would have meant ham juice everywhere. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I think it’s part of that waste not want not mentality. My grandma was born during The Great Depression. So she’s a thrifty one to this day. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  11. berry says:

    What a hoot.

  12. I love Grandma H! When does the short story book come out? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • LOL. It’s something I should work on. Maybe next year? I’m still trying to sell two manuscripts. ๐Ÿ˜‰ But she does deserve her own book. I snuck a home movie of her and my mom trying to dispose of beef barley soup–it’s hilarious–I’ll try to edit it and maybe put a short bit on the blog? If they let me.

  13. Saucy Cherry… Great title. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  14. Indeed such moments can be the food for our memories on a life long basis. Enjoyed the conversations.

    Shakti

    • Thanks Shakti! I always return to Grandma H moments and laugh. I’m so glad I record them here. It’s easy to let them slip past and not treasure them when it’s a part of your daily life. ๐Ÿ™‚

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