Holiday Moments With Grandma H


Journey back with me to Christmas Day. A day of Grandma H moments…

Grandma H and I sit side by side eating ham at dinner. It was a buffet-style dinner so everyone had to grab their own utensils.

She has a fork. I have a fork and knife and spoon.

Not for long…

She says, “Give me that knife.”

I say, “I need it.”

She says, “So do I.”

I hand her mine and ask my cousin, “Can you grab me a knife?” I’m seated against the wall trapped beside Grandma H and she doesn’t move when she’s eating.

I get my knife and commence slicing my ham. Grandma H looks over at me. “I’ll take that spoon too.”



I have nothing on my plate that requires a spoon. Plus it’s Grandma H so I hand it over.

We eat for a bit in silence. Then I look over. She’s slicing her ham with the knife but holding it in place with the spoon.

I ask, “Why are you using the spoon like that?”

“Because it’s easier to scoop up the juice.” She sounds mildly annoyed by my ignorance.

“But to hold the meat in place when cutting?” I ask.

“It’s how I like to do it.”


Later we are sitting in the living room. Grandma H decides to start a conversation by asking, “So Steve, do you have water in your basement?”

It’s the weirdest conversation starter ever. I giggle.

Steve however goes with whatever topic is thrown at him and launches into a story about his basement flooding in the past but no longer.


Later, we sit around talking about an old family friend. Someone calls her to touch base. The phone gets passed around.

Unbeknownst to Grandma H, the call is ended.

The family then chats about the old family friend.

Grandma H looks to be stewing.

As the conversation gets louder, she shhhs everyone and says, “She’s still on the phone.”

My aunt says, “No she isn’t.”

Grandma H points to my cousin and insists, “He’s holding the phone talking to her.”

My cousin unfurls his hand which was beside his temple. “No, I was just resting my head on my hand.”

“Why would you do that?” Grandma H asks in a huff.

Everyone bursts out laughing.

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