An Award, an Event, and Some Etc.



The Six Train to Wisconsin was an International Books Awards Finalist for cross genre fiction!


On June 7th, I will be at the 4th Annual Writers’ Conference and Intensives at Hunter College in Manhattan (68th and Lexington). I’m going to be on the children’s panel from 9-10 a.m. I’ll have a few books with me to sell and sign as well.


On a personal note, I have been sticking to a low carb regimen all of May. I feel so much healthier with my blood sugar back under control. I’m enjoying fruits and veggies, but limiting those processed sugars.

I’m also officially obsessed with Bitten. First off, everyone is hot. And yes, I like watching hot people. Second, the story is great and I love how it unfolds. Third, the characters are really well done. I love them all. I watched 13 episodes in a week.

Revisions are kicking my butt. Self doubt attacked last week. And suddenly nothing I did seemed right. Second and third guessing myself. I felt like my sanity was a second away from snapping.

It took me a few days to get my head together. And I’m still slipping into serious uncertainty. Thank goodness for my mom and Kat. They have been there to remind me of what is working in the story and keep me going when I want to lock myself in a closet, bury myself under a pile of coats, and cry.

I have to send the first 100 pages to my editor tomorrow. Gulp. I’d like to say how confident I am that she’ll like what I did, but I’m not. All I can say is I did my best to run with her edits and make it a better book.






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26 Responses to An Award, an Event, and Some Etc.

  1. Wow – the awards! You just keep rackin’ ’em up! Awesome, and well-deserved. I have to say, it’s comforting to know that even an Award Winning Author (nice ring to that, no?) such as yourself experiences the self-doubt. Ugh. It’s probably the worst side of this whole writing thing — the emotional ups and downs. It’s almost always one extreme or the other. You’re right, it’s the family and friends who keep us sane and grounded. Best of luck, and please keep your blogging audience in the loop when you get the feedback from your editor!

    • LOL. Thanks. When I entered Six Train I was hoping to win or place in one or two. This has been so unexpected and awesome. 🙂 It sounds really lovely. But yes, that self-doubt is crippling. And it is always popping up. Yesterday I read through the 100 pages and I was like hmm, these are pretty good. It’s so weird how subjective it can be. Or maybe how hard I am on myself. I couldn’t do this without my nearest pep talking me through it. 🙂 Happy to keep you in the loop. 🙂

  2. davidprosser says:

    Don’t let the self-doubts get you down Kourtney. Remember there isn’t an author alive who isn’t plagued with them.Your editor is bound to like what she sees. She like it enough in the first place not to reject it so this has just been a quick polishing session.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

    • Thanks David. Very true. Actually, I had two editors–one acquired the book and one is doing the actual editing. The edits were very extensive. Most of the the scenes in the first 100 pages disappeared or needed to be completely rewritten and many new scenes were drafted from scratch. This was a big revision. That’s what made it so hard. 🙂


  3. Carrie Rubin says:

    The old self-doubt; I know it well. It’s been rearing its head my way, too. Hopefully we can banish it together. 🙂

    Congrats on another award nod!

    • It doesn’t take a lot either. A couple things and my self confidence is rattled and then everything is excruciating. Triple and quadruple guessing. Hugs. I just keep attacking the novel and deciding each pass makes it a little better.

      Thanks! That helps so much. To know I did something right with Six Train! 🙂

  4. Arlene says:

    Kourtney, I know there’s not much we can say when self-doubt rears it’s ugly head. I’ll say it anyway … you know I thought Six Train was an amazing story and I think you are such an excellent writer but obviously others thought so as well, hence being a finalist for the International Books Awards. That is such an accomplishment and I hope it helps to keep your confidence up! 🙂

    • You are so right. It’s all inside my own head. I’m not on my side and it’s killing me. But I really really appreciate hearing that you loved Six Train. 🙂 And the awards help remind me I can write. Part of the problem is that Reckonings is so different from Six Train. Reckonings was my first manuscript. I cut my writing teeth there and it’s very commercial and not the voice I’ve developed in later works. It’s hard fitting into shoes from several years back. I’m realizing I have to just find what works in Reckonings and play to its strengths. Like the ghost stuff. I’m amping that up a lot more. It’s getting very gothic which I love. 🙂

      • Arlene says:

        Oooh, I’m liking the sound of that. Yeah, I can imagine going back to writing something before you knew all you know now. That does have to be tough. I have no doubt, though, that you’ll do it! 🙂

        • Aw thank you Arlene. 🙂 It’s funny because it’s super plot driven and everything after it has been super character driven. Yeah, it’s embarrassing all the mistakes I made. Trying. Going to send those pages soon. And then on to the next 100!

  5. Congratulations, Kourtney! So far, 2014 has been a fantastic year for you and your writing career…well done!

  6. EllaDee says:

    Good that you are working on eating and feeling well… it will assist you to go with the flow and also get in the headspace and do what you need to do, but there’s lot of great ways to celebrate the wins – important to do that, they were well earned 🙂

    • Thanks. I feel better and have more energy. I can’t believe how long I let myself go down a bad path foodwise. I do try to take a moment and savor the good stuff that happens. Because there is always bad stuff coming down the pike too. It’s so many ups and downs on this journey. 🙂 Hugs.

  7. Lori D says:

    You are a good writer, Kourtney. I read your novel, so I know. Shh, don’t tell anyone, but I’ve read some blog authors books that I couldn’t finish because the writing was mediocre. I don’t finish books unless they keep me riveted. I get bored easy. Also, the writing has to be smooth and tight, otherwise I won’t finish either. Yours has both. I know you can do it. I have those doubts many times, too. We need to hold each other up, and you’re one of the good ones. Keep it up.

    • Thank you Lori! 🙂 That means so much. Having you as a reader truly rocks! 🙂 Aw, thank you for propping me up. I’m starting to find my groove. It’s weird with this book the middle is my favorite part. And the part that had the least editorial revisions. So it’s nice to move into these 100 pages for revising. I’m not sure why everything feels easier here. Usually middles are the saggy parts. My beginning was with this novel. Hugs!

  8. jmmcdowell says:

    Self-doubt is a beast with infinite lives. Every time we beat it down, it licks its wounds and gathers its strength to attack again. And again. And …

    But our friends and family are great sources of strength in the unending battles. As are those awards, which are rightly won and talismans for our continuing quests!

    You rock, Kourtney, and so does The Six Train. 😀

    • That is the perfect imagery, JM! It sucks the marrow out of your bones. They are. Thank goodness. LOL. I love thinking of them as talismans. Thanks for that idea!

      Aw so do you JM! Thanks for all your support.

      Big Hugs!

  9. 4amWriter says:

    Self-doubt has waged yet another battle my way, too. It is worse when things aren’t happening or moving in a forward direction. Right now, with Life taking precedence, self-doubt has slipped in because I can’t get to the writing and querying.

    Congrats on another award, Kourtney. Hope you’re showing it to that self-doubt! 🙂

    • It’s very hard to deal with. Mostly because it’s all in your own head. And once that self doubt train leaves the station is completely alters your perception of everything. It paralyzes and demotivates like nothing else can. And it shakes your belief in yourself. And until you shore that up again, everything feels impossible. Unfortunately, I can’t wait for it to run its course. I have to keep writing while self doubt slaps me around. 🙂

      Thanks. It definitely helps. But my writing style on Reckonings is completely different. So self doubt tells me well you did well on Six Train, but this one, this one you will never get it right. I’ve been trying to make peace with how different they are and see that what I need to do in Reckonings is nothing like what I did in Six Train. 🙂

  10. Mayumi-H says:

    Congrats on being a finalist for the International Book Awards, Kourtney! It’s well-deserved. 😀

    Sticking to a health regimen isn’t easy for everybody, so I’m happy to hear you’re feeling the benefits and not just the trials. Go, you!

    If only it were so easy to combat self-doubt with a balanced diet and exercise, eh? 😉 I think of doubt the same way I consider fear. Yes, it can suck us down, but it can make us stronger, hardier, and sharper, too.

    Belated best wishes for your edits send-off!

    • Thanks Mayumi! I feel like Six Train is the little indie that could. 😉

      It’s incredibly hard. I have to be so strict and controlling. It’s willpower and effort all day everyday. Thanks!

      LOL. Self doubt is one of those things that creeps up on us. No matter where we are in our writing career. I agree, when we come back from it, we are better and stronger for it. 🙂

      Thanks. I’m pushing onto the next 100 pages of edits. I’m trying to get her batches ahead of schedule so we can squeeze in a second round of editorial revisions in our 8 week revision timeline. Moving like Jagger through this book.

  11. Aquileana says:

    Congrats Kourtney… I am happy for your book’ s acknowledgement.
    Best wishes, Aquileana 😛

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