Beauty of A Woman BlogFest: Lessons from Grandma H

boaw-2013

This week there will be a Thursday post instead of a Friday post because I am participating in August McLaughlin’s amazing Beauty of a Woman BlogFest tour.

Today, I’d like to share some life lessons from a woman who inspires me, who continually teaches me how to be more comfortable in my own skin, who owns who she is and invites others to do the same:

Grandma H.

1) Grandma H knows exactly what she wants and isn’t afraid to demand it.

We went to the drugstore to get Ambesol to help with her toothache. I suggest Orajel, but she overrules me. She tells me she wants the gel, not the cream. I try to recommend a few, but she wants to know about every type of tooth pain reliever there on the shelves.

She grabs one and demands, “What about this one?”

“Um, well it’s for braces pain.”

“Put it back.”

When we get to the check out counter, she tells me, “Get three cents.”

She pulls out a ten dollar bill and checks three time to make sure it’s only a single ten. Then she tells me to check it again.

Finally, we complete the transaction and the saleswoman says, “Have a nice day.”

Grandma H responds, “Whatever.”

2) Grandma H selects a phrase of the day and employs it throughout our adventures.

“Mother of good God.”

3) Grandma H loves being appreciated

As we drive to the mall, I tell her, “All my blog followers love you. They want me to say hi to you from them. They rush to read your posts.”

She replies, “Oh, my public likes me.”

4) Grandma H isn’t ashamed of where she came from

“Is that the pond you swam in as a kid?” I ask.

“We’d come out of the water covered in bloodsuckers.”

“Why’d you keep swimming there?” I ask.

“It was so refreshing and so close to home. You just had to yank them out.”

5) Grandma H doesn’t give up

We have a routine at the mall. We go in and immediately hit the lotto seller. Then we sit on a bench so she can scratch them off. If she wins, we buy more. If she loses, we buy more. Then we make our way to Ihop.

At Ihop, Grandma H and I split a meal. I start to place the order and realize this breakfast doesn’t include pancakes. So I ask her, “Is that okay?”

She says, “I don’t want the god damn pancakes, they’re usually cold.”

The waitress says, “It comes with toast.”

I’m lowcarbing and Grandma H has a toothache so nothing hard to eat. “No toast.”

Grandma H says, “I’ll take the toast.”

“With your teeth?” I ask.

“Just bring lots of butter to soften it up,” she tells the waitress.

6) Grandma H isn’t afraid to make a mistake

We are talking about Grandma H’s teeth problems.

I say, “Mom said you had scarlet fever when you were younger.”

Grandma H says, “Two o’clock.”

“What?”

“Two.”

“When you were two?”

“Yes, when I was two years old,” she explains like I’m the ninny.

Later she tells me, “Your uncle went into the tunnel.”

“He went where?”

“The tunnel. For his back.”

“You mean the MRI machine?” I ask.

“Yeah that tunnel thing.”

7) Grandma H can joke about anything

Grandma H keeps repeatedly taking ice cubes from my glass.

I tell her, “If it falls in your cleavage, I’m not going to get it out.”

She looks at me, “I’d rather stick it in your cleavage.”

We both burst out laughing.

In celebration of the Beauty of a Women BlogFest, here’s a list of the other  bloggers participating in this epic event! If you have a second, please check them out.

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60 Responses to Beauty of A Woman BlogFest: Lessons from Grandma H

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