Today, I am turning my blog over to the fabulous and talented Martine Helene Svanevik, a fiction writer from Montreal.
I absolutely adore her blog about writing and training over on nascentnovelist.wordpress.com. You should definitely check it out. She tells me she can often be found wasting time on Twitter too.
Martine spends her days editing text for computer games, her evenings powerlifting and crossfitting, and her nights writing twisted stories set in a darker world than our own. She graciously agreed to come on my blog today and talk about the Big Fear writers face…
The Big Fear
I started my writing career in academia with a five year History program at the University of Oslo. Academia is all about harsh critiques. There’s no mollycoddling or pulling punches. You learn to step up and get knocked down. This form of continuous trial by fire makes you handle feedback without taking it personally. And that makes you a better researcher.
After developing a skin so thick it could be elephant hide, I embarked on my journey as a fiction writer, sure that I’d be equally cavalier about any feedback I got on my stories. How wrong I was. You see, writing academic papers is all about doing the research, working the problem and then phrasing your arguments in a way nobody has thought of before. It’s a job with goals and measuring sticks.
Writing fiction, on the other hand, is like taking a little piece of your soul, moulding it into something you’re proud of, and then being brave enough to open your hands just enough to show that inner part of you to someone else. Having that critiqued is a whole ‘nother world of pain.
After my first writing class, I was crushed. I felt like I’d shown someone my baby and they’d told me it was ugly and that I should never show it to anyone again. I despaired. If even a group of other struggling writers could make me drown my sorrows in pitchers of Rickard’s Red, how was I supposed to send anything out to a publisher?
I went home and I polished and polished, and pushed the date to send my story out by a week, a month, three months, and so forth. The longer I waited, the more comfortable I got not showing my work to publishers. It’s not ready yet, I thought. It needs more work.
Lucky for me, I found a competition that fit my genre so well that I couldn’t let fear get in the way of participation. No entry fee, 50K prize money and a publishing deal. So I polished my manuscript one more time, sought solace with Uncle Whisky, and pressed the send button on my email.
And do you know what? It didn’t hurt a bit. It was exhilarating. As soon as the story was out of my hands, I had room in my head for new ones. Better ones. Of course, I didn’t win the big publishing deal, but I learned that receiving that sad note that says “Thank you for your contribution. Unfortunately…” was not as crushing as I thought it would be.
Did I overcome my fear of rejection? Not at all. I still hold my breath every time I send a piece of my soul out to be weighed and measured, and I still feel like someone stomps it into the ground when I get those rejections back. But I also know that if I want to get published, I need to dare take that leap. And maybe, just maybe, a publisher will measure the piece of my soul that I put in their hands, and find it compelling.
It’s so hard to put it out there but like you say we have to if we want a chance that we will get a yes one day. Good luck!!
Thank you! You too! 🙂
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I like your comparison academia writing and fiction writing. They really are so different. Querying is scary, but it’s also exciting. I enjoy the adrenaline rush of pressing send. =)
I think I meant to add a “between” in that first sentence. Good thing that wasn’t a query.
Oh, me too. And I also dread what I know follows it: the manic email checking for weeks on end. (I’m getting better at letting go, though.)
I for one, find my world a little richer for you not giving up on fiction writing after that first class. I think, ideally, it never stops being painful (not completely). Having feeling in the soul nerve endings is a good sign. Go see a doctor…or a witch doctor, if that ever changes.
Will do! But I think I’d prefer a witch doctor. More chance for inspiration, or medicinal peyote.
Thank you so much for those kind words.
Thanks for a fantastic guest post, Martine! I still get twinges when I send stuff out. I love how you compared academia to fiction writing. It’s interesting how distanced we can be in academia but how emotionally attached we are to our fiction.
Thank you for having me! 🙂
I think (hope) twinges are normal.
It was a pleasure. You are welcome back anytime. I think twinges are absolutely normal and healthy. 🙂
This is a really beautiful post. I think it’s great that you turn pessimism into optimism and that fear, when overcome, is liberating and energizing. I’d have to say for myself that I can completely relate to the ‘it’s still not good enough to send out’ syndrome. That’s a good thing, right? Otherwise, we’d be sending out drafts that really aren’t ready to be sent out and we all know where that leads both to the writer and the writing profession.
I suppose in the end, it’s all bout knowing when to actually stop polishing a draft or keeping it locked up, but instead to release it and… move on.
That’s so true. And I definitely think we should all make sure we err on the side of too much polish, rather than too little. That being said, I think I could have kept picking on that draft forever.
Thanks for reading!
Great post, Martine. Writing fiction is definitely different from academic papers. As you said, the criticism seems so much more personal.
Thanks Kourtney for hosting Martine. I will check her out on Twitter!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Carrie. When I stumbled on Martine’s blog, I though this is one heck of a writer. She was gracious enough to let me guest post on her blog and I was clamoring to get her to post on mine. 🙂
Thank you so much!
I’m glad you stumbled on my blog, and even more glad that you decided to share a post on it.
I can’t remember which brilliant soul led me over there, but I am very grateful. Your post is such an honest glimpse into what a writer’s life is like. Thanks for sharing it with my blog readers and me. 🙂
Thank you! I’ll see you on twitter!
Great post. That send button sure gives me a momentary pause. 🙂
Good to know I’m not alone.
I tried once – not brave enough to try again. I took that as a sign that I was not supposed to be a writer! 🙂 I admire you for knowing what you want and persevering. Good luck!
I don’t think you should give up. There’s a lot of downfall before you get anywhere, but if you want this: you can. You just need to keep practicing your craft.
Thank you for your reply. Maybe I really need to decide how badly I still want it, and then work on it again. 🙂
There is such a difference between academic/professional writing and writing fiction! The styles are as different as the critiques. Overcoming that feeling of rejection has been the hardest thing for me. But I keep writing. And I think I get better at it.
Lovely guest post!
Thank you!
I think I get better at it too. Every time I feel like I can’t get through it, I listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI23U7U2aUY
It takes time, but we’ll get there!
Great post, Martine.
And so true. It’s the scariest thing in the world to put your work out there but you don’t grow as a writer until you do.
Once we lose the fear of failure there’s nowhere else to go except up and we also need to understand that we’ll never ever stop learning the craft. How wonderful is that?
So true! 🙂
Thanks for reading!
Enjoyed the interview. This is a great line: “a publisher will measure the piece of my soul that I put in their hands, and find it compelling.” Most writers can identify with that – well stated!
Thank you!
Great guest. Love the sharing of thoughts. Best of luck.
I’m delighted Martine could come over and guest post. I’m wishing her tons of good luck with her submissions. 🙂
Thank you! I could use a spot of luck right now. 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
This was a great guest post. I love Martine’s comparison between academia and writing fiction.
The release of the novel, in a physical and mental sense, makes total sense as well. Very thought-provoking!
Thanks MJ! I am a follower of Martine’s terrific blog. I was thrilled to have her here for a day! That comparison really drove home how different writing can be. And that the transition from academia to fiction is just as hard as for a newbie writer starting out in fiction.
Thank you! And thanks for reading.
I wonder sometimes if the personal nature of fiction isn’t why we (as readers) also get so entranced by it. We see fiction as a connection with another human being.
Lovely post, Martine. Thanks!
That’s a beautiful thought, and I think it’s exactly why I, at least, get so drawn into the narrative in books.