What my favorite sandals taught me about relationships


I am incredibly picky about what I put on my feet. As someone who suffered from back problems for a decade of my life, I know that flats are best.

I’ve re-herniated the disk in my back twice by slipping on slate, so not slipping is really important to me. Treads that grip the ground are essential. No cheap flip-flops for this girl.

A few weeks back, I was outside in my favorite sandal when it happened. I slipped in the grass. At first I thought it was the grass, so I stepped onto the brick and tested it. Same problem. My sandal no longer gripped the ground the way I needed it to.

I’d had these sandals two years. I loved these sandals.

I could hold on to them, knowing they weren’t right for me any longer. I could wear them again and risk injuring myself. Or I could throw them out right now.

I considered the second option for all of 5 seconds and said no way. The first option was just deferring the inevitable.

Bottom line: They were no longer right for me. They could injure me. They had to go.

I marched out to the trash can and threw them away.

That’s when I realized my favorite sandals gave me a parting gift. A simple realization that applied not just to shoes, but to relationships too.

 Just because you love something doesn’t mean it should be in your life. If it no longer fits into your life or it can harm you, you have to let it go.

This entry was posted in Personal and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to What my favorite sandals taught me about relationships

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    Indeed. Applies to life and shoes both. I’m all about comfortable and practical footwear. In fact, I just ordered a new pair of what I call my ‘ugly man shoes.’ After nearly eight years, I’ve worn the other pair out.

  2. This should be made into a piece of art or greeting card for people going through breakups. 🙂 It’s lovely.

  3. EllaDee says:

    Definitely a case for discarding old shoes and old friends who are no longer fir for purpose. But it’s always nice to have old friends and old shoes on the right occasion. Even if they don’t come out much they’re still a good, comfy fit 🙂

  4. jmmcdowell says:

    I love the analogy. 🙂 Comfortable shoes are best, and the best relationships are those where all parties are comfortable with one another. Hope you’re back on your feet after that nasty virus!

    • Thanks JM. It was something I wish the 20 something year old me could have grasped. 🙂 Unfortunately, this thing boomeranged on me. I’m heading back to the doctor again with a wicked sore throat. 🙁

  5. Mayumi-H says:

    Great analogy, Kourtney, and a good point for us to keep in mind, about people, jobs, even our passions. Glad to read you figured out the right fit for you. 🙂

  6. Thanks Aquileana. It was a sad moment because I wore those sandals day in and day out for 2 years. They were my favorite sandals. But suddenly they weren’t right for me anymore. I knew if I didn’t toss them, I’d probably hold on and might even try to wear them again. So I cut the cord and let them go. Wish I had learned that lesson earlier with people. Would have saved me a ton of heartache. Hugs! Kour

  7. I recently read a blog post about a similar issue, but having to do with stiletto heels and why women wear them. I am all about comfortable footwear, and even flip flops are an iffy for me because I tend to trip over things in them. Love the analogy here — so true!

    • Eek. I’ve never owned a pair. I hurt my back when I was 21. So heels have never really been something I can wear. They remain a splurge for 10 nights a year and then only 2 inches and chunky heels.Aw thank you. It was funny when I started seeing the parallels. I tend to hold on to things too long whether it be sandals or people.

  8. WOW. That last part is definitely T-shirt and greeting card material.
    Simple, true, yet people just fail again and again to realize it.
    Oh, sandal failure. Little is sadder than that. (We’ve had a similar incident here – flipflop anger as being replaced in cold weather? doesn’t matter. Pain is the same in any case.)
    Hope you are healing up – take care during that!

    • Thanks so much. I was one of them too. Took me years to see this clearly. I’m definitely on the better side of things. Still need to take a cough suppressant and eat cough drops, but I can breathe and I have some energy again! Happy Thanksgiving!

  9. Sheila says:

    So true – and yet it does take a while to get to that point of being able to let go easily enough for some reason. I can’t wear high heels at all and I’m amazed by the number of people who seem to manage it (until that inevitable fall, I guess). I hope your new shoes take you on to new adventures.

    • I definitely fall into the hold on until your fingers bleed camp. But I held on too long and too much when I was younger. Now I tend to let go faster.The pendulum swings. Hoping to find that elusive happy medium. Aw thank you. I’m cleaning out my closet and drawers this winter to rediscover all the stuff I have. 🙂

Any thoughts or reactions or favorite foods you want to share?