Thank you to the most amazingly supportive blog commenters! Seriously, you guys were a huge part in my recovery.
It took me two days to regroup. The first few hours I was inconsolable. I cried on and off for 7 hours. The next few were devoted to hopelessness. Wallowing in the pointlessness of all that I do.
A breakup. That’s what this felt like. It took me two days to realize the agent dumped me. While I thought we were moving in together, she was just having fun.
I’ve had lots of rejection in my query wars. Had dozens of fulls requests end in rejection. I’ve learned to handle it.
But this time someone asked for the full, gave me revision notes, then dumped me.
That had never happened before.
And I wasn’t prepared for it.
I thought if I made it this far, probability was on my side.
But I forgot.
Life doesn’t work that way.
At least not for me.
But it’s exhausting to be depressed.
Luckily, 48 hours later, anger came calling. Tidal waves of rage. Floods of frustration. A desire to prove this agent wrong.
I sent out submissions to editors and queried new agents.
I took action. And it felt AMAZING. To not be beaten down anymore.
But it was just part of my natural progression.
Rejection hurts. It makes you doubt yourself. It paralyzes you. It sucks all hope out of you.
But that passes. And then anger fills the void. It drives you to act. To move forward again.
I believe in this book. I believe in me. And that’s enough for now.
And I’ll keep writing and querying and submitting until I win this query war.