I’m not one to lose it in the moment. The more serious the problem the more composed I seem.
I’ll navigate through the hurricane…and collapse a week later.
The worst thing I’ve ever heard someone at the wheel say to me: I feel like I’m going to pass out.
My mind races with possibilities. A car slamming into us from behind. Her passing out and the car swerving into traffic. What to do. What to do.
I calmly tell her to pull to the side. She signals and brakes. I reach over and cock the wheel into a nearby driveway.
I get her to ease up on the brake. The car inches into the driveway.
I tell her to brake. Then I put the car in park and turn it off.
We sit there. I stay calm. Eerily calm. Because that is what I do.
I repress in the moment and deal when there is time to do so.
I wait until her dizziness eases and then we switch seats.
I take over the driving.
We have lunch.
I come home.
But I can’t get the emotions to surface again. I guess I buried them too deep.
And a week later, my neck is spasming and I’m having nerve pain in my hand.
I’ll panic later has its consequences.