A person’s true character is revealed in moments of crisis. It’s not just what they did, but how they handle the fallout of what they did. I’ve always believed this.
The past few weeks, I’ve been struggling with the end of a friendship.
When someone lies to me, it breaks our bond of trust. Their actions give me a reason to doubt what they say. And believing them made me a fool once already. Now, they’ve provided proof that they hid things from me. That they were dishonest. They they are capable of lying to my face.
That tears through me. But they are the one who lied to me. They are the one who took my trust and set it on fire.
They are the one that needed to apologize and make amends.
Instead, I got a couple apologies followed by a kiss-off letter.
They aren’t sure how or if they can regain my trust so they wish me luck with my life. I guess it’s easier to give up.
That tells me so much about them.
It confirms that they were a waste of my time. It shows that they are a coward. A liar who takes the easy way out. It defines who they are. And they are not someone worth knowing.
It’s an Earth-axis-reversing moment, when you realize someone you trusted has betrayed you. And when they turn on you, you realize that the person you knew isn’t there anymore.
They become a stranger. Which makes you wonder if you ever really knew them at all.
Despite struggling through this mess, I am incredibly happy with myself. Because I stood up to someone I loved and I refused to let them mistreat me. And I was honest. I said I might not be able to trust them again. I can’t predict if that wound will heal when it’s still hemorrhaging. But with time and work it might.
They chose to leave me bleeding. No offer of assistance. No holding my hand while the healing began.
That is a character defining moment.