Today, I had one of those soul crushing battles with my writing. I’d been editing this book for 5 weeks. When I finished the micro edits done on a chapter by chapter basis, I felt like I had a stronger more cohesive story. I had confidence in myself.
I figured all I needed was a quick macro edit.
Until I moved onto the macro 100 pages at a time edits.
There is so much I found that required further reworking. I’m a week behind schedule because I never anticipated it could be this bad.
I started to question my editing, my intuition, my writing.
I had that moment of do I suck at this and somehow I convinced myself I’m good at it? Like the 500 lb woman who goes out in leggings and thinks they flatter her figure.
OMG, am I in deep denial?!
I stopped and did laundry. Anything to get Ms. Negativity away from my manuscript.
But I don’t have the luxury of a break. I have 130 more pages to edit before my pitch slam in 2 weeks.
And I have to prep for the conference. So I’m going to have to power through this swamp of self doubt.
Maybe they aren’t as bad as I thought. Hopefully they won’t require burning to cleanse the house of their foulness.