Grandma is a Creature of Consistency

My grandmother is a creature of consistency. Any divergence from the norm merits a reaction.

Case in point, we are at IHOP and they bring her strawberry and banana pancakes. She didn’t expect the whip cream and demands, “What’s this?”

The waiter, accustomed to curmudgeony, old people smiles. “it’s your pancakes. I’ll eat them if you don’t want them.”

My grandmother laughs and apologizes.

He leaves the table and she whispers, “I thought it was a birthday thing with the whipped cream.”

Mental note: Whipped cream shakes grandma up.

Did I mention the ride to the mall? I drove. Normally, I employ GPS, but Grandma decided she is better.

I have to admit, the admonition to, “Stop there’s a red light,” or “Turn on Sharon Rd. It’s coming up…coming up…now turn” were quite an experience.

It was GPS for the anal retentive.

She also did not appreciate when I took a shortcut and diverged from her directions. She seriously thought I would get us lost.

Last but not least,when she finished her eggs and turned to her pancakes, which sat beside her for half an hour, she became enraged. “How the hell do they expect me to eat off this little plate?!”

She tried to flag down the nearest employee to help her by madly waving her hand and yelling, “Waiter! Bus boy! You come here.”

I turned around and realized he was the host and he was seating the table behind me. Poor guy.

He came over and she demanded a larger plate. The waitress had to come and help out because he’s the host. Poor poor host.

I do enjoy the fact that she’s old enough to yell at anyone and they take it. That is a definite plus to being over 80.

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14 Responses to Grandma is a Creature of Consistency

  1. Gerard says:

    I agree with you…if you reach 80, you have earned the right to do things that might not pass scrutiny before…I don’t mind when older folk (which is not so far away for me at this point) drive slow…better that they are out and about than being shut in at home…what a horrible way to wrap up one’s time here. So drive slow, get angry, cuss a bit more, and maybe be ornery…those who have reached 80 paid the price and earned the right.

    • They have been through so much, I kinda like watching them take on the world at 80. They drive slower because they are being careful and trying to avoid accidents. Can’t fault them there. ๐Ÿ™‚ Totally agree with you!

  2. tracy says:

    you just watch, my dear. one day our grandkids will be posting stuff like this about us. I can totally see you taking advantage of that “you get to yell at anyone younger than you” rule of the older & wiser. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I know that I am looking forward to that day…

    • I might be worse than her actually. She was pretty nice when she was younger. I’ll probably lambast everyone younger than me on a regular basis. Be the old lady the kids are all afraid of in neighborhood. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Lucas says:

    Grandparents are nice in small doses. Mine don’t get out much anymore so we don’t have too many incidents with the wait staff like this though.

  4. berry says:

    How true.

  5. berry says:

    Your grandma is a pop. Just like you.

  6. Loren Chase says:

    I loved this, it definitely gave me a few laughs before bed:) My grandmother is exactly the same way. But I know she’s earned it! And I haven’t been to IHOP in ages! I’m glad you enjoyed yourself:)

    • Thanks! I’m glad I could make you chuckle. or rather Grandma did. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think it’s part of the aging process and they definitely earned it. The IHOP just opened at the mall and it brings back such great memories of late night partying from college and grad school. It’ll always be a favorite. And being there with Grandma is a trip. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. queenofenglish says:

    Your grandmother sounds like my mother who died a little over a year ago at the age of 90. Thanks for the laughs and good memories.

    MM the Queen of English

    • Glad the post made you laugh. If she’s like my grandma you’re mom must have been a delightful force to reckon with. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m sorry to hear you lost her, but glad that you had such an amazing person in your life too. ๐Ÿ™‚

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