The Times They Are Changing

Did you ever want something and not want it at exactly the same moment? I have. I crave stability and security. I build an entire world and then it starts to suffocate me. And inevitably, I desire change as much as I fear it. Until it reaches the tipping point and finally I smash my world to pieces.

I’ve lived in my apartment 6 years. I’ve made friends in the city. Built a solid life here. But I am tired of seeing grown men peeing in broad daylight on a building. I am sick of the rat race. Something in me wanted out. It was only a matter of time before the economy impacted my day job. My bread and butter. That severely impinged upon my writing time. Double edged sword.

So yesterday, I was laid off. Third time laid off since I started working as a fresh faced college grad. I’ll be okay. I have a good savings. I have a plan. I’ll be able to write more. This will all work out. But it’s tough to say goodbye to everything that was familiar. It’s hard to let go before I wanted to. The sadness and the excitement are so bizarre to have simultaneously. This is an ending and a beginning. There is uncertainty but also possibilities.

Another turn on the wheel of fate. I wonder where I will end up this time.

This entry was posted in Ramblings and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to The Times They Are Changing

  1. blackwatertown says:

    Commiserations on your lay off, and good luck with the future and the future writing.
    It recently happened to me too – though it was my choice. I’ve managed, in the past day, to finally finish the book that was hanging over me. So I know where you’re coming from.
    Now I just need to get it published. Easy, huh?
    Your tips from the Backspace conference look instesting. I’m going to read them properly next.

    • Change is always hard, whether you choose it or it is forced on you. Congrats on finishing the novel. 🙂 Publishing is the hardest part. One lesson I learned is that when you finish the book, you still need to have beta readers and revisions. workshops and critique groups are essential. Attend a conference. And make sure you query when you are absolutely ready. hope my tips help. Backspace is a great group to join too!

  2. berry says:

    Well I am sorry to hear that you have been laid off. But as my mother always says. When one door closes another one opens. For whatever reason change has come your way. Embrace it. Use it go grow and become stronger. Take some well deserved time off. Travel and enjoy the summer. It’s not you. Believe that first. You were a great worker.

    • Thanks! It’s weird because this was the longest i stayed in any job. Almost 3 years. But maybe this is what I needed. You don’t always get what you want but you usually get what you need. 🙂 Now i can spend more time on the blog and my writing!

  3. berry says:

    Change is great. You should do everything you can to enjoy this time. I’m jealous.

  4. blackwatertown says:

    Hi Kourtney – thanks for trying to have a look – the shortlink works for me. But here’s the full version. Maybe it’ll be more straightforward. It should take you to the openinging lines of my book Blackwatertown

    http://blackwatertown.wordpress.com/2009/12/21/the-opening-lines-and-happy-christmas/

    And here’s the link to the blog itself

    http://blackwatertown.wordpress.com/

    Thanks again.

  5. Emma says:

    I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been laid off. But try and see things positively, now you can commit even more time to your writing and it’s a matter of time til your novel(s) get published, especially now that you have more time to work on them 🙂

    • It took me a little time but I am seeing the positive. I dream about the day that I post that I’ve got an agent and then that we found an editor who loves the book as much as I do.

What do you think?