So I’m on the elliptical enjoying a great workout and this song comes on my iPod. It’s playing a genius mix and so I had no idea what song was playing until I looked. Anyway, it was the genius mix for Only This Moment by Royksopp. The song playing was Innocente by Delerium. But I digress. Point being, this line in the song walloped me over the head and kept turning over and over in my mind. She kept singing about how “I suppose it is the price of falling in love.” It’s a beautifully haunting song. Leigh Nash’s voice reaches inside and grabs ahold of your heart. The lyrics say:
Not a stranger or a ghost
It’s the quiet of a storm approaching
That I fear the most
It’s the pain that I hear coming
Which got me thinking about how every pleasure, every happiness, every joy has a price. Nothing is free. There is a cost to every moment in life. Pain too takes its pound of flesh. And suddenly I saw my entire existence as one ginormous balance sheet. As if each moment depleted from both sides in some measure. Until there is nothing left.
The highs and the lows were the most memorable, but the cost attributed to them. Yeesh. Someone once told me to aim for the plateaus. I tried, but it always felt like I was flatlining. There is a difference between existing and living. I aim to live. And that meant I fell in love and I risked failing. I tried. And maybe that is the scariest part of being alive.
And yes, at times, the price didn’t feel worth it. When in love, I was imbued with super powers. I felt invincible. But when the love ended, you went somewhere dark. Somewhere you never wanted to be. But you clawed your way back out of there. And that was the price of falling in love. You risked yourself. Sometimes, you lost more than you thought possible. Other times, you gained more than you ever dreamed of.
But is it a risk worth taking? Especially after the love ends/fades/dies? What do you think–is love worth the price?