The Price of Love

So I’m on the elliptical enjoying a great workout and this song comes on my iPod. It’s playing a genius mix and so I had no idea what song was playing until I looked. Anyway, it was the genius mix for Only This Moment by Royksopp. The song playing was Innocente by Delerium. But I digress. Point being, this line in the song walloped me over the head and kept turning over and over in my mind. She kept singing about how “I suppose it is the price of falling in love.” It’s a beautifully haunting song. Leigh Nash’s voice reaches inside and grabs ahold of your heart. The lyrics say:

It’s the rain that I hear coming
Not a stranger or a ghost
It’s the quiet of a storm approaching
That I fear the most
It’s the pain that I hear coming

Which got me thinking about how every pleasure, every happiness, every joy has a price. Nothing is free. There is a cost to every moment in life. Pain too takes its pound of flesh. And suddenly I saw my entire existence as one ginormous balance sheet. As if each moment depleted from both sides in some measure. Until there is nothing left.

The highs and the lows were the most memorable, but the cost attributed to them. Yeesh. Someone once told me to aim for the plateaus. I tried, but it always felt like I was flatlining. There is a difference between existing and living. I aim to live. And that meant I fell in love and I risked failing. I tried. And maybe that is the scariest part of being alive.

And yes, at times, the price didn’t feel worth it. When in love, I was imbued with super powers. I felt invincible. But when the love ended, you went somewhere dark. Somewhere you never wanted to be. But you clawed your way back out of there. And that was the price of falling in love. You risked yourself. Sometimes, you lost more than you thought possible. Other times, you gained more than you ever dreamed of.

But is it a risk worth taking? Especially after the love ends/fades/dies?  What do you think–is love worth the price?

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5 Responses to The Price of Love

  1. Lisa says:

    Hey Kourtney! Great to see you (albeit online) after a near 6-year hiatus!

    I think love is TOTALLY worth the price. Without a doubt. I’d rather live a life of great emotion than total numbness.

    In terms of romantic love, I think you have to put yourself out there in order to get something genuine in return. And if it all goes to pot, sure, you feel half dead, or mainly dead, but wow, what a ride!

    With regard to unconditional love, something I’m feeling now with my son, the stakes seem even higher. If anything were to happen to him, I cannot even begin to fathom. But his smile alone is worth all the pain in the world.

    Perhaps this is all merely biology at work. But that doesn’t bother me. Everything has a purpose, even if that purpose doesn’t seem nearly as significant or as romantic as one would like to imagine. It is all still beautiful.

    • Hi Lisa!
      Great perspective on things. 🙂 I think it is worth it too. But sometimes it’s hard to remember that when it ends. And everything that happens, every experience feeds into my novels and so I can take the bad and make something of it. Parent-child love always amazes me. My mom would do anything for me. It’s pretty awesome. Totally agree that there is a purpose even if the purpose is never clear. Good to see you online too. 🙂

  2. Emma says:

    First of all, great song! I like listening to that sort of music when I write, it somehow calmes me down and let’s me delve into my characters’ world and forget everything else around me. I didn’t know Leigh Nash or Delirium before but I think I’ll get one of their CD’s for my collection–thanks!

    Now, that being said, I think you are right saying that everything comes at its price. But I would add “and it’s up to you to decide whether you are willing to pay it and if it the experience you get out of it is worth paying the price.” I for my part think that most (if not all) of the experiences you make in life are somehow worth being made. They are all part of you and make you who your are and that’s the most important thing. Like I said in a previous comment to another post: Life hardly ever is black or white, most of the time it’s simply gray–in every possible shade. And the same goes for the experiences you’ve made.

    • But sometimes you don’t know how much something costs until the bill comes. 😛 You can’t predict what having your heart broken or losing a friend will cost you emotionally. I think that’s why lots of people don’t jump. They stand on the sidelines and don’t put themselves out there. For the people who do jump, they know there’s a risk, but they don’t know what the final cost will be. They just take a chance and see what happens. : )

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