I read a great post on the backspace blog about not losing hope and faith in your writing abilities. It’s something that I struggle with often. I write because I love doing it. I write to bring a story to life. I write to do justice to my characters. But deep down, I write with the hope of being published. Of sharing my stories with others and finding an audience who will love my characters and their adventures.
Last night, I was tired and pushing myself to edit and suddenly this choking fear overwhelmed me. The writing was terrible. I hated every page I read. What happened to the magic that I saw there last week? Was it me or was it my writing? So I put the pages down and watched a dvr’d episode of One Life to Live from last week. Watching their lives implode, made everything better. It gave my mind a much needed break from work and let me relax. Then I came back to my writing later and found it was salvageable.
I think that is one of the worst things about being an unpublished author, you have no book in print to point to and say, “Look a bunch of someones thought it was good enough to become a book.” Instead, you battle all your insecurities in your head. You remind yourself of the comments you got from your beta readers. Sometimes you call or email one just to check that they weren’t being nice. After some eye rolling and sighing, they usually say something that makes you feel better. You puff up your feathers and you pretend you are the best thing since sliced bread. Then you focus and you keep going.
But it’s hard. Writing is a constant assault on your self-esteem. The trick is in picking yourself up and getting back to work.
I find a box of chocolates (minimum half a pound) or a couple pop-tarts seems to work as a good salve on my bruised ego.
What works for you?